Subject Eye

Your Right to Be Married, My Right to Be Envious

Whoever you are, you should have the right to get married. And these two questions should not exist: Is he out or is he in? Is she out or is she in? And I’m not talking about a Project Runway query. I’m referring to what is known as ‘the closet’. The closet sounds like and awful place to exist. I know I hated being locked in a closet when I was a child (child rearing certainly has changed since my day), but you know I’m not speaking of a literal closet. The world can be a dangerous place, and being in a closet may be the safest place to remain (though how sad that there’s not enough respect and compassion in the world engineered the reasons for the closet). But there is certainly not enough room in most closets for a wedding. Everyone has the right to be married. 

Just don't ask me whether someone is straight or gay. Someone recently asked me this question as the beginning of a conversation about a mutual acquaintance. This was not a good idea. I find it rather distasteful to inquire whether someone is gay or straight. I absolutely do not care about anyone’s sexual preference or proclivity (within the consenting adult arena of behaviors). If you are looking for the answer because you wish to date a specific person, may I suggest presenting a ‘calling card’ with your name, phone number and your most recent DSM IV-Revised psychological assessment, and then strike up a conversation. I guess I’m a bit old fashioned.

But if your date progresses and you both develop to a desire to marry, I am passionate about the right to marry no matter how your choice of a mate’s genitals are configured (or not). As you know readers, I have never been married. And yes, I wish to be. Maybe the desire to be married should be part of a diagnostic tenet for an aggregate of mental illnesses in the DSM IV- Revised. But it is not as of yet. So whoever you are, if you are planning future nuptials whether you are gay or straight, I hate you. Well, I don’t hate you. I’m just envious. Whoever you are I support you, as I expect you support my vacuous desire to get attention for a day from all my friends while I march around before them in a fabulous ‘couture for the occasion’ dress.