Subject Eye

Fetal Pig Tuesday:

The clothes you wear can signal information to others about who you are. Or who you are not. The following little tale is about some very crossed signals.

I was in London on tour years ago. I was excited to be in one of my favorite cities for work because I would be able to check out the new stores and clubs and get paid at the same time (in those days it always felt like I was getting paid to shop and go out at night, even though, truth be told, I was really being paid to stay put).

After a brutal day of sitting in my hotel room waiting to be called for a rehearsal that didn’t happen, I decided it would be fun to see the sights of London. I wanted to go to Camden Market’s Red or Dead stall, and stroll on the King’s Road to see what I could see. I wanted to able to see people walking around town wearing items from BOY, and Vivienne Westwood’s designs from the iconic World’s End shop. I did and I was thrilled (I was easier to please in those days).

Hyped up on my fashion high, I thought it would be fun to meet some friends and go out dancing. Except, I didn’t have any friends in London yet. Luckily, some staffers from the record company were going out and invited me along. It was a chance for me to show off my NYC finery, including a simple rubber skirt that I’d purchased at Patricia Field’s.

It was later that evening, while sitting a banquette at a trendy club, that I received the strangest solicitation of my life. A very nattily dressed woman, a friend of my record company cohort, turned to me and asked if I’d like to attend Fetal Pig Tuesday.  Extremely puzzled, I asked the woman for a bit more information, but she would only say that it was “a secret night, at a secret club, where I might love to get up to some secret excitement!”

What was it about me that inspired a perfect stranger to say, “Hey there, would you be interested in joining me in something so twisted and lurid that there isn’t even a word for it yet?” Was my rubber skirt sending out signals I did not intend, or speaking in a kinky volume that was audible to a certain few but not to me?

Maybe Fetal Pig Tuesday was some sort of porcine veterinary survey, but I have a feeling it wasn’t. In any case I did not accept the woman’s invitation. The moral of this is: You are what you’re wearing says you are. And even if that isn’t true, you may be perceived that way.