Subject Eye

Maialino’s Magic, or Almost like Water Off a Duck’s Back:

I love walking into a restaurant feeling stylish and happy that I’m about to eat good food. I feel Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffany’s chic and that all eyes are on me. This is certainly how I feel when I walk into Maialino, my favorite of Danny Meyer’s NYC restaurants. I know this is crazy talk and the old man sitting at the deuce that turned his head to look at me is really just thinking that he gave the same wool scarf I’m wearing to his son-in law as a gift last Christmas.

After I get over my ‘faux-lebrity’ moment, I like to sit down at the elegant bar and order a mocktail. The reason to go to Maialino is the incredibly delicious food and great service. It is also one of the few restaurants that have mocktails listed on the drink menu. I like to eat dinner at the bar so I can make sure I don’t miss any of the real celebrities as they walk in. The last time I was there, Al Pacino walked past me with his dinner companion. He was wearing a blue bandana (why would Al Pacino wear a blue bandana? Can’t he afford a scarf like that old man bought for his son-in law?)

Maialino is perfection, but I must share with you a strange thing that happened. A boisterous woman who was sitting next to me managed to spill her glass of white down my back. It did seem as if it was a physically impossible thing to do (I think she was gesticulating and forgot she had a full glass of wine in her hand). But that was not the strange thing. The strange thing was that after I stared at her anticipating her apology, she said “I didn’t know longer jackets were back in style.”

Let me give you a description of the ‘longer’ jacket I was wearing. It was a Yohji Yamamoto black silk jacket with hidden snaps and long sleeves (pictured below). It was not the newest jacket I own, but this is not the point. How does someone have the nerve to say something like this to me, not only because it was wrong and rude, it was said to me while my left hand was ¼ inch away from a sharp knife and I’m left-handed?

The staff seemed to be as stunned as I was. They were kind and offered all sorts of linen with club soda poured on top (does that really work?) while the wine juggler babbled on to her friends in her not-so-charming Texas regional accent. You can imagine the ideas that were running through my head, but I just sat at the bar smelling of wine, and I don’t even like wine.

Now, I wouldn’t mind if Grace Coddington wanted to give me a heads up and help me out so I don’t commit a public fashion faux pas, but to by criticized by a ‘Miss Texas Liberty Parade’ with blonde over-lacquered hair, wearing a dress far too short and tight for her age, was almost too much to bear.

I say almost because I didn’t let it put me off enjoying an excellent meal. I managed to keep my composure, look glamorous (if slightly damp) and stayed clear of Rikers Island. Maialino has a number of sumptuous fresh pasta dishes, but none, for me, can top the tonnarelli a cacio e pepe (a fresh, square spaghetti served with pecorino cheese and black pepper). If living well is the best revenge, eating well must be a very close second. I ordered the tonnarelli, the staff continued to soothe with their kind attention, and the evening regained its magic. Now I can only thank everyone at Maialino for ensuring my culinary and imaginary cinematic delight.

Here I am in my 'long' jacket at the Issey Miyake '10 Year Anniversary' event.

Photo by Brian Batista.